Welcome to My Life
by Ryuko Ishida
Summary: Love Triangle between Ryo, Rika and Henry. Not only that, but Rika was also having a bad relationship between she and her stepfather. And no, it's not the usual abusive father! How does Rika cope with her problems when they all just dump on to her?
1. Inner Feelings and Beautiful Soul

**Welcome To My Life**

-Meeko Melodie

Summary: Two years passed since the defeat of the D-Reaper. Thingsare simple but emotions are getting complicated between Ryo and Rika. Not only that, but Rikais also having a bad relationship between she and her stepfather. As in REALLY bad! How does Rika cope with her life when so many thingsare happening in such a rush? Ryo X Rika

Meeko: Hi, everyone! This story might look familiar because I'm just changing a few things in it since it's Christmas and I have nothing to do. Other than that, a few things are added, changed and yea.

Disclaimer: I do not, repeat: do not, own Digimon 03 or any other seasons. And I don't own the song 'Beautiful Soul' as well, it belongs to Jesse McCartney.

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Chapter 1: Inner Feelings and Beautiful Soul**

- Rika's Point of View -

I simply could not believe it was already two years after we had defeated the D-Reaper. To be honest, nothing changed much except we had all graduated from elementary school and after the graduation, I moved out to a public high school along with the rest of my friends.

Oh, I almost forgot; Takato Matsuda, of whom I still loved to call Goggle Head, hey, it's hard to change names that were just oh so catchy, and Jeri Katou had finally admitted their feelings towards each other and they were officially going out. Well, sort of, in a way.

On the bright side, at least they had finally told each other; it had been irritating me for quite a while; I mean, look at them, they were practically made for each other.

Another thing that had changed was that Ryo Akiyama, of whom I personally labeled the "annoying jerk", moved out of Shinjuku area to start his last high school year. At first, I was like: good, he could finally get his annoying face out of MY face. But deep down, I knew it wasn't true. Even after I tried to force myself to get his intense blue eyes out of my mind, his face just kept swam back up to me when ever I least expected it to.

The feeling was rather strange, I got to admit. I never had that emotion before; the feeling that I'm not complete without a person. It certainly freaked me out for some time there and I swore it was slowly getting on my nerves for whenever someone mentioned his name, well, let's just say I'm in a bad mood and the people who mentioned his name became my victims.

So that was how my life basically went for two years or so. I lived my own life and Ryo lived his. Sometimes, I even dared to wonder if he had a girlfriendat school.

Not that I care or anything like that. I just... who am I kidding? I do care; I just don't have the guts to tell him.

So now, as I sat in the peaceful park on the last day of my summer vacation, my head was filled with thoughts about, you guessed it, him. Rich, emerald leaves were rustling above my head, and a scent of fresh cut grass wafted under my nose, relaxing my mind.

-Flashback-

"What? You're moving?!" Kazu, an auburn haired, kind of tall guy, and Kenta, a boy with glasses who hardly ever picked up a book anyway, half shouted in disbelief.

"Calm down!" Ryo, a lean built teenager with spiky cinnamon locks and intense sky-blue orbs, said. "It's not like I'm going to move to the other side of the earth. I'm just moving to the other side of the city."

"Phew," Kazu sighed in relief, "buddy, you just freaked us out for a minute there."

"Who said 'us'?" out came a cold voice that was WAY too familiar.

"Rika!"

"Who do you guys think it was?" Rika said, leaning against the cold wall.

"Hey, you came," Ryo said in an almost exciting voice.

"Duh! Of course I did," Rika snapped in an annoyed tone which was only saved for Ryo.

Ryo shrugged and gave her one of his infamous cheerio smiles. This action immediately irritated Rika as she said, "I heard you're moving, Ryo. And here I was, thinking that you'll move to Iceland or something."

"Not a chance," Ryo said jokingly and smiled once again to her but when his warm cobalt irises met her violet ones, Rika could feel heat coming up to her cheeks.

"Jerk!" Rika muttered as she escaped his eyes, staring at the floor that was oh-so interesting.

-End of Flashback-

School was starting today in all over West Shinjuku and outside West Shinjuku Public High, students were talking and walking in excited chatters. And I was not among them.

Instead, we had all agreed to wait outside the school entrance so we could find our classrooms together. Do we really need that?

"Where's that goggle head?" I asked, impatient as usual," we're going to be late if he does not show up in five god-damn minutes."

"Don't worry," and as usual, Henry said calmly," he'll show up soon enough."

"He better," I muttered under her breath. Sometimes, Henry's calmness might be very useful but I didn't think the present situation would be very helpful. But I guess that was just Henry's character, huh?

Suddenly- "Hey, guys," a certain someone yelled from across the street. I narrowed my eyes and saw a figure with chocolate brown hair rushing towards us.

"Will you hurry up already?" Kazu shouted desperately. When Takato finally reached the tamers, he panted and said, "Sorry, I..." But I cut him off, "Cut the apology, Mr. Matsuda. We are running late as it is."

Kenta looked up at the clock and gasped, "Oh no, only 3 minutes!" We ran as fast as our legs could carry us and managed to find our homerooms in time. It must've been a miracle.

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A few days had passed. We all adapted to our new classes pretty well and I didn't expect anything unusual would happen on this particularly hot September day. However, as we had all learned in our lives, things were not always how they seemed to be.

During history lesson when Henry and I were sitting together, the teacher was literally torturing the class with the information of World War 2. The whole class seemed to be asleep except for a few who were occasionally jotting down a note or two.

For me? Well, what do you expect? I wasn't a person who people called history-crazy. So I just stared at the stack of paper on my desk of which I was supposed to write down the notes. I took out my pencil and wrote down on one of the pages: Ryo Akiyama.

For a moment there, I didn't know what the hell was going on as I just kept staring at the pencil marks but when I suddenly realized something and an "Oh, fuck!" came out of the blue in the quiet, sleepy classroom.

"Excuse me?" the teacher turned her head sharply towards the direction and her piercing eyes rested on me," Miss Nonaka, are you paying attention to the lesson at all?" I sighed inwardly. The class sneered except for Henry, who just looked at me with a surprised expression on his features.

"Oh, they'll pay for this," I thought angrily as the class still continued with their stupid giggles.

"No," I mumbled.

"Excuse me?" the teacher said, walking closer.

"No, Miss Kirasu, I didn't pay attention during the whole fuckin' lesson, all right?" I shouted hotly, unable to control the restlessness in my heart and had to let it all out. Unfortunately, it was aimed towards the teacher.

"Rika Nonaka!" the teacher was shocked, "this is no way to speak to me, you understand? And watch your tongue! Go stand in the hall way now." I stood up and in an unusually calm nature even I didn't know possessed and marched out of the door.

"This is the first warning to you, Miss Nonaka. You go out and think about what you have done wrong," Miss Kirasu said sternly," the third, you'll pay a visit to the principal." Pretending I didn't hear the teacher's words, I stood outside facing the ancient wall.

However, thinking about that 'mistake' was the only thing I didn't do as my thoughts instantly started to click to place.  
"What am I doing?" I asked myself, staring hard at the little lines on the wall. Like _that_ would help anyway. "Why am I thinking about Ryo Akiyama in history class?" I asked myself again, "and why am I even crazy enough to write down his name?" This was going to take some time tofigure an answer out.

-Lunch Time-

The cafeteria was crowded with students as I took a seat alone on a table in the far corner where people were not able to notice me. 'Or not,' I thought as I heard someone yelled my name. But as my feelings being low as it was, I ignored it and hoped with all my heart to go away. I was not exactly in the best of mood at the moment.

So here I was, pretending to be pondering about something; the truth was, I was deeply in thought about that brown haired whats-his-name. Damn it! 'Why in the seven hells couldn't I get him out of my stupid head?'

"Is this seat taken?" that person asked. I gasped silently; that voice... Yet, I appeared to be deaf and was staring at the food on the table, ignoring him altogether.

"Earth to Rika," he called a little louder, waving his hand in front of my face and that startled me.

"Huh?" I said, looking around and found myself looking at a certain someone's ashen gray eyes, "oh, hello Henry."

"Hey to you," Henry said, as he sat himself beside me and took out a sandwich.

"You got something in your mind?" Henry asked casually, taking a bite out of his sandwich.

"Damn you, Henry. Why is it that you know everything?" It never seized to amaze me as to how Henry was always the know-it-all and no, I meant that in a good way. It looked as if the only person who could understand my feelings was him.

"Because of what you did during history class today," Henry explained, "it's pretty obvious."

"Oh," was my only reply; I could feel hotness creeping on my cheeks; it was not fun when someone found out something you wished to hide. Looks like that was not going to happen. Not with Henry around anyway.

"What happened?" Henry asked, getting back to the topic.

"It's nothing," I replied with a careless shrug, trying to get back to my wonderfully looking food. Henry looked at me closely with anxiety in his eyes. I shifted slightly in my seat but revealed nothing. It would take more than a worthless stare to get me talking.

"Really, it's nothing to worry about," I assured him.

"If you're sure," Henry said. He knew it. Both of us knew I was hiding something, but he understood me. I was thankful for such a compassionate friend.

"Henry! Rika!" a loud voice which I swore I knew it from anywhere because of its annoying tone, suddenly cut through the peaceful silence between us. I groaned in exaggeration as I heard Kazu's aggravating voice.

"What are you two doing here, alone?" Kazu questioned, as the rest of the tamers closely followed and he was emphasizing the last word.

"What do you think genius?" I said in a sarcastic tone that I loved so much as I continued," Hmm... let's see. What would someone do in a cafeteria?" Kazu ignored my sarcastic remark as he said teasingly," Ryo is going to be jealous."

At the word 'Ryo', my cheeks started to glow the tiniest pink without so much of my noticing and I snapped uncharacteristically, " Who gives a shit about Akiyama anyway?"

"But Akiyama gives a shit about you," Kenta copied my sentence. Now I'm really irritated, "Anyone mentions Ryo's name again, they'll be history!" I sounded so deadly that even Kazu and Kenta shut their big mouths. Smirking in a satisfy manner, I marched out of the noisy cafeteria in order to gain some time alone and in peace. I desperately needed that after the commotion.

-After School-

Students filed out from the school ground when the bell rang at 3:30. I was walking home by myself. As I was pacing on the sidewalk, the question shot at my wandering head again and again. I was beginning to get a headache from it.

"Why did I have this weird feeling inside me whenever someone mentions Ryo?" This feeling never occurred to me before towards Ryo or any other boys in this case.

The first time we met was on a Card Game Tournament where Ryo beat me. I still couldn't believe it, but I guess I should just accept the reality. Damn reality! The second time we met was in the Digital World last year. At that time, I was being totally rude to him but later, when we joined forces to fight against the D-Reaper, we became good partners and since then, I felt weird around him. But I just couldn't figure out the whole thing. It was a peculiar feeling.

-On the other side of the town-

- Ryo's Point of View -

I rushed out of my school, pulling my girlfriend, Grace, along with me into the deserted part of the street. I had been with her for almost a year now, since I moved out of West Shinjuku, since I moved away from my friends; from her.

'Rika,' the name sounded so sweet even in my head right now, even though the one I was holding was another girl.

But that was the point of my move, to forget about her. To forget about her enchanting violet irises, her rare smiles, her beautiful soul.

_I won't let another minute go to waste_

_I want you and your beautiful soul._

It was almost impossible, but I found someone. Grace. I was still not sure if she was the one, but so far, I had been able to get her out of my mind.

The thing was, I would really just want Rika to be my kid sister, and friend. But lately, I had a feeling that she wasn't feeling the same way. Call it instinct but I was never wrong in this type of situations before; I just did not wish to hurt her, such an untainted soul. I was afraid that I might lost control and surrender to her pure eyes, that simple request.

Quickly, I removed the tickling keys out from my pocket and stuck it into the key hole, almost menacingly opened the door. Grace was still looking at me questioningly but I cut her short by placing a forceful kiss on her lips.

She was stunned for a second but we managed to make it to the sofa, where I threw my backpack and books carelessly on to the floor. Right now, I just wanted to forget.

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Meeko: Okay, I know it's long and boring and everything. I'm going to add things in the next few chapters or so, so even if you've read this before, there WILL be something new. Oh, comments please, by the way! 


	2. Away from Home and 40 Kinds of Sadness

**Welcome To My Life**

**-Meeko Melodie**

Meeko: Hi again. Glad to see those wonderful reviews and if anyone is wondering, no, I'm not going to make the abusive father thing that are very common out there. And no, I'm not gonna make one of them mean and one of them heroic. Just, plain no. So, any more questions?

Disclaimer: Okay, fine, I don't own any Digimon characters. The song 'Welcome to My Life' belongs to Simple Plan and '40 Kinds of Sadness' belongs to Ryan Cabrera. Happy now?

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Thank you:

**Keep-onxRocking: **Hey, thank you for the comment. I think I've saw you somewhere before; have you comment on my other Digimon stories or something? Anyway, thank you.

**2 Name less persons: **Please read the above author's note. Thanks for the comments, by the way.

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**Chapter 2: Breaking Down and 40 Kinds of Sadness**

-Rika's Point of View-

"I'm home!" I yelled once I stepped into my house, knowing probably that no one would be in there to answer me anyways. Grandma was out for a few days visiting friends near the Fuji area, and mother was out of the country doing a fashion show for this company thing that I wasn't even listening to when she was explaining it to me.

Oh well, like that would make a difference anyway.

The house was so dead quiet that I swore I could even hear the fridge humming in the kitchen; it was eerie, in a way. Unconsciously, I shivered, not only at the deserted place I called home, but also at my whole confusing life.

Swinging the backpack over the chair, and almost knocking it over with unneeded force, I grabbed some chocolate chip cookies and a glass of orange juice and was about to sit down to have an after school snack when I heard the door opened, then closed with a squeak.

Haruto, my stepfather.

'Oh great,' I thought, ' just the person I need to see at the moment.' Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying he wasn't nice or anything, but we were not in the best of stepfather-stepdaughter relationship either.

"Rika," he called out warmly, stepping in to the kitchen with a suitcase and drawing case in hand. He was a designer, and no, he was not gay. He married my mother, remember? H met my mother, Rumiko, in one of the fashion shows and they hit right off.

So, back to the original topic here, the moment he sat himself on a chair in front of me, I stood up, almost toppling the chair in the process. Mind you, I wasn't in exactly the best mood at the moment. My aching head was still clouding with those damn thoughts about Ryo Akiyama.

Plus, I could tell he wanted to talk about something and I wasn't in the mood for speeches either. So without further addressing or even a word, I picked up my school bag and my snacks and stepped right out of the door. Finally upon reaching my room, I slid the wooden framed door shut and sighed loudly, suddenly feeling relieved.

We never talked in a total of ten sentences in the past conversations, I meant between me and Haruto, because, well, we just didn't have anything to talk about. Sure, mother would sometimes make up some excuse that would make me roll my eyes so that we can have some time alone together. But with me being me, I just stuck to the ground and said nothing unless it had to be said.

That was how it is for almost a year.

Just a quiet life, if one could even call it that.

I sighed.

Why is my life becoming so fucking confusing? First the marriage between mother and a stranger, then came this strange feeling toward Ryo. I didn't know what to think anymore. Loads of times, I just wished to be young again; a time when things were simple and nothing more.

Yet, I know this was a selfish dream. One that was impossible to come true.

'Maybe I could run away,' sometimes I would muse myself with a silly thought like that, but I just dropped it quick as it had surface from my brain.

_Do you ever want to run away?_

_Do you lock yourself in your room?_

Suddenly feeling very full, I laid out my homework in front of me and trying to concentrate on them. But I just found myself reading the same line over and over again for the last five minutes without understanding the content of it. I groaned with frustration at my wandering brain, which was just filled with those images of a certain cinnamon haired someone.

How could I concentrate like this? I glared at my Shakespeare's The Tempest. And who in their right mind would read this... this impossible to understand language? I slammed the book shut just when the phone rang.

Well, let the damn phone rang. I didn't give a shit. I was about to threw it down the floor too, if it just kept on ringing. I know, harsh temper.

I just wasn't in the mood for anything other than screaming at something or someone.

_With the radio on turned up so loud_

_That no one hears you screaming_

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"Dinner time, Rika," I heard Haruto's muffled voice coming from the kitchen. Almost unwillingly, I dragged myself out of the room and shifted all the way towards the kitchen. He was already seated so I sat down right across from him, head lowered.

I could practically felt his piercing gaze burning hole in me. 'What's his problem?' but I didn't voice out my thoughts.

"Rika," he started. 'Oh great,' I thought, playing around with my chop sticks, 'he's going to one of his speeches again.' I glanced up to meet his unwavering glare; it was strange. Haruto was never the one in an angry mood; that was mostly me but even I shuddered under his angry stare.

"Yes?" my voice dry but demanding.

"The school phoned a few hours ago," he said and I immediately knew what was going on. "And?" my breathe shaky but only a bit.

"I want to know what happened," he replied, totally forgetting about the food now.

"You already know," I said simply, putting down the wooden sticks, "so why ask?"

"The Rika Nonaka I know was a quiet spoken, yes, but never a rude girl who swears to her teacher," he said, his lips thinned into a line.

"Then it seems that maybe you just don't know me very well, isn't it?" I inquired, my voice dipped in ice.

"Or maybe you just won't let me understand you," he shot back.

That was it.

"So what if I won't let you understand me?" I screamed, pushing myself off of the table; I could feel the chair toppled over with my unnecessary force. But the hell with the god damn chair!

_Do you ever feel out of place?_

_Like somehow you just don't belong_

_And no one understands you_

"No one tried," I continued, tears starting to form around my eye brims as I fought hard not to let them fell; every emotion just came rushing to me like waves in a storm trying to drown me down. Images were blurry, merging together into something I wished so hard to forget, "nobody tried to understand me." It turned into a shaky whisper.

"I tried," he said, I knew it but did I care at the moment? No.

"Shut up," I didn't know where it came out, but it did, "you... you're not even my father!" And with that, I rushed out of the house and what was worst? It was literally pouring outside.

Just my day today, huh?

The freezing rain pierce through the damp night air and bled through my clothes but I ran. I ran to no where and didn't stop until my chest was hurting so much from my beating heart. Hair plastered around my face in a mess and my usual high pony tail drooped with water drops dangling dangerously.

Panting with agonizing pain still gained up on my chest, I crouched down on the concrete ground where puddles of the clear liquid were forming around my feet. Rain water from the dark heaven combined with salty tears rolled down my face, cooling me off.

Pedestrians were staring at me as they rushed past, sending splashes of bitter cold water in my way; but none of them spoke, as if they were trying to ignore me.

_Are you stuck inside a world you hate?_

_Are you sick of everyone around?_

I loathed them.

_With their big fake smiles and stupid lies_

_While deep inside you're bleeding_

Trembling slightly, I made myself stood up and found my way toward a phone booth. The sudden white light inside momentarily blinded me; my head swirled but I caught hold of myself just in time. From the jean pocket, I held out a quarter and popped it into the awaiting machine.

I tapped my feet impatiently as the ringing of the phone continue.

"Come on," I muttered under my breathe, now tapping my finger, "someone pick up the god damn phone already."

Finally - "Hello? Katou residence."

"May I speak to Jeri please?" I requested.

"I'm sorry, she's out for the moment, do you want to leave a message?" that person said.

"Fuck," I muttered unconsciously.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, that's okay, thank you." I hung up and sighed loudly.

Damn, even Jeri was gone, probably on a date with Goggle Head, I presumed. I dug deep into my pockets: one more quarter. I clasped my hand hard over it before pushing it into the phone.

The ring seemed to go on forever but someone finally answered.

"Wong's residence, Henry speaking," that deep voice said.

Weird as it might be, I squealed and for the first time, felt warm upon hearing such a familiar voice.

* * *

-Henry's Point of View-

"Henry?" that shaky female voice asked, as if making sure that it was me.

"Rika, what's wrong?" I recognized her voice.

"I..." she started but stopped again.

"What is it?" I asked, more gently. I wondered what was wrong; I could hear the rain on the other side of the phone, loud tapping on glass. Could she be in a phone booth out there alone, somewhere in the dark?

"Can..." she stuttered again, "can I stay at your place tonight?" My brain was blank for a second, then it finally got to me as to what she was asking. "I tried to phone Jeri," she explained quickly, "but she wasn't home." 'On a date with Takato,' was my very first thought.

"Sure..." I meant, what else could I had said? I couldn't just leave her out there and froze to death, right? "Why don't you come over right now?"

"Thank you so much," she sounded grateful and the phone line went dead. I could tell tonight was going to be a long night.

I laid the receiver down and heaved a sigh. The house was too quiet for both of my parents were out late tonight, leaving Susie and me behind to care for her.

"Who was that?" Susie asked, coming out of the bathroom just finished brushing her teeth; she was wearing her pink pajamas and in her hand was a brown, worn-out teddy bear, which replaced Terriermon. I smiled slightly at the thought; Susie was still pretty young then, about five. Now, she had grown taller and her hair was passing her shoulders hanging on her back. She looked at me with her curious cinnamon orbs.

"We're having company over tonight," I announced and at that, she squealed in this really hyper way that I had to dodge her incoming bear hug.

"Who's it?" she asked, her eyes sparkling.

"Rika," I replied. Somehow, this name gave me slight senses of sadness that I couldn't define.

_I feel 40 kinds of sadness when you're gone_

_I feel the same thing always happens when you're gone_

But who am I kidding? I knew how I felt, but it just doesn't feel right, when I know the person she loved was not me, but Ryo Akiyama.

I do not hate her for it.

How could I? She had choices and obviously, she had made the decision.

'Besides,' I thought to myself while clicking on the television remote control to make more noises in the house, 'she probably doesn't even know how I feel.'

And I planned to keep it that way.

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Meeko: Done! In like 2 days and still trying to work out these annoying little stupid probability questions for my math tutor. Oh and have I mentioned they are stupid and annoying? Comments please, thank you! 


	3. Long Night and Inner Struggles

**Welcome To My Life**

**-Meeko Melodie**

Meeko: Wow! I've abandoned this poor story for almost a year now. Well, I guess it's back on the laptop for me! Sorry for the VERY late update, people. Hope this will satisfy you!

Disclaimer: Please, do not remind me. I'll cry.

**Thank you:**

**Aki Musou**: I knew it! Well, thank you for reading and comment on this.

**Tai-for-you** / **Ryuki Obsessed** / **yyhpunk** / **Numbuh 333 half way 2 hell**

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**Chapter 3: Long Night and Inner Struggles**

-Rika's Point of View-

The walk to Henry's apartment seemed to last forever in the never-ending rain. It never appeared to be that long before, or maybe I just didn't notice, or maybe it was the damn rain in the end. Whatever it was, by the time I reached the roofed part of the front door, I was dripping water from head to toe. The sharp air conditioned breeze unsheathed its blade along my wet skin as I stepped from the outside and into the front hall; I shivered violently despite the protest in my mind.

Cautiously, under the suspicious gaze from the guard, I walked towards the elevator and pressed the button. It lighted up as the machine sprang into life. I tapped my foot on the carpeted ground, making dulled, continuous thumping noises in the silence.

Relieved as I heard the ding from the arriving ride, I stepped in and let it flew me upstairs. On the way up, I really, truly could not stand the freezing drips from my hair bleeding further on to the back of my sticking shirt; so I loosened my ponytail and twisted the locks like a wet towel.

I watched with slight satisfaction as rivers of rain water splashed on the newly polished elevator floor.

I really didn't give a crap about anything at the moment. Let alone a wet floor, which was initially caused by me anyway.

Finally got to the door of Henry's residence, I had a sudden urge of leaving again, not wanting to bother anyone with my own stupid problems that didn't concern any of them. But the stubborn thought again struck inside my skull, 'I can't go back. I can't let him get the satisfaction that he is right and I'm wrong. I can't.'

With that solely in my mind, I knocked on the door.

* * *

-Henry's Point of View-

Expecting her, I answered the door.

However, I must say, I didn't expect the level of wetness she got herself into. Her usual locks of eye catching fox red gleamed at the light of the hallway with moisture; individual drips of water continued to dangle on her bangs and exposed arms; her damp t-shirt stuck to her body, hugging all her figures and I swore I could pour out a good deal of water from her drench runners.

She was trying to hide the fact that she was shivering from cold, but I could tell from her slightly chattered teeth and biting of pale lips that she was indeed, losing her normal temperature and that, if she did not warm herself soon, she would get herself a cold. I smiled inwardly at her attitude, 'that's Rika Nonaka for you alright.'

That was how wet she was.

I quickly ushered her in.

She looked unsure; I didn't know why. Did she not trust me? I tried to ignore that useless question as I led her towards the bathroom.

"Stay here," I instructed her, not that she was always a person who followed instructions, but the coldness must had gotten to her as she nodded numbly, looking somewhat lost. I ventured into my parents' room, pulling at various drawers and finally located what I was looking for.

"Here," I handed her the shirt and sweatpants that belonged to my mother. She was still looking at me with a lost, empty space in her violet irises; you might think it was stupid but when I said I could just lost myself into those bright, lilac-colored eyes of her, I really meant it.

Okay, you could stop laughing now.

"Go in and take a hot shower," I suggested, "you'll not want to get a cold."

She took the clothes from me speechlessly, her freezing fingers slightly brushed against my contrasting warm hands during the process and I looked away as naturally as I could. I didn't say anything further, because I knew she would tell me if she wanted to and when she was ready to.

I let her go.

She was in there for forty five minutes; somehow, I didn't think she usually needed all that time to take a shower back at her own place; something was definitely wrong. She usually wouldn't be wandering around the street without any signs of purpose either, but she just did. Rika had been, and was always a girl with a determined spirit. Yet, from her dreary and adrift expression, I guessed that something must have happened with her family.

'Another step dad-step daughter fight maybe?' I thought in my head. There had been lots of those these days, especially after the marriage between her mother and the man named Haruto. I wouldn't give misleading comments because I didn't understand half of the things that had happened. Lately, I had sensed one of those from Rika's shift of emotions at school; but it was never this strong before as she had to run away from home.

I was so deep in thought, staring at the blinding white ceiling of my room, that I didn't notice the presence of an awaiting Rika, dressed in the clothes that I gave her. She gave me a smile; her smiles were rare, I could tell you this much and as corny as this might sound, I would enjoy making her smile more often when she was down. One of these days, I swore I would become insane if I keep thinking these thoughts whenever Rika was around me. I swore to God I would. Hey, it was always possible, though I really hope not.

Okay, change of topic would be good right about now.

"Would you like to come in?" I invited her into my space. She hesitated for a short second before setting foot, somewhat cautiously into my room. Neither of us said anything; it wasn't awkward or anything, thank goodness. It was just another one of those comfortable silences, the waiting silence, the pausing silence.

She settled herself on the wooden ground, her back supported by the wall parallel by me while I stayed in my position on my bed.

"Aren't you going to ask me what happened?" she finally spoke. I was still not sure if this was the cue for me to ask the important questions; you could never really tell with Rika.

"You will tell me when you're ready," I told her instead as I lay on my bed with my hands behind my head.

"You're right, Henry," Rika said, I could hear the smile in her voice. Everything was silent between us once again. It lasted for so long that I just lost track of time; anyway, staring at the ceiling and not saying anything did that to people, especially me. I didn't know how much time had passed but when I turned towards Rika to ask her if she was sleepy yet, I was facing an already sound asleep girl, breathing deeply and steadily.

I let a smile grazed my lips as I picked myself up and got on the ground as silently as a cat. As gently and slowly as I could, I slipped one of my arms under her legs and lifted her up, making way back to my bed. I was planning to lay her down and let her have my bed for the night before heading out to the living room to take the couch but as I tried to place her down on the comforter, something stopped me.

She had her arms wrapped around my neck, quite tightly, I had to admit, and after putting her completely on the bed, she still hadn't let go. Untangling her arms was hard work, not that it accomplished anything at the end. After a few minutes of uncomfortable rumbling, I still have her arms around my neck as firm as before. I sighed.

Just when I was thinking how else I could untangle myself from her, a tug from her strong arms brought me down; I was as stiff as a board as I froze beside the slightly snoring figure lying beside me so close that I could smell the rose bath that she had used tonight. 'Oh, how I hate myself.'

'Great, now how am I going to... oh, shit,' I thought as she rolled towards me, her head lying dangerously near my beating heart. Oh God, I wish I could die just then. Couldn't figuring out what to do, while privately enjoying this short moment of close distance, I didn't let my thoughts drift any further. I understood the danger of all this; for one thing, Rika would probably beat the crap out of me the next morning when she found herself beside me and on my bed and for another, I'm afraid I would lost control.

I knew I could, although I tried not to let myself do so but it was hard. It was hard then, with Rika just in my view and this closeness thing didn't make it any easier for me.

I was that scared.

'This is going to be a long night.'

* * *

Meeko: This is crap! I know this is crap, you don't have to tell me. But, oh, ignore that, please do! Comments, please! 


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